Intimacy and You – – 7 Surefire Ways to Spark Emotional and Physical Intimacy

True intimacy is the essence of any romantic relationship – whether in marriage or not. Without a deep level of intimacy your relationship is going to suffer in mediocrity and you are going to feel its absence in the weirdest of ways. Intimacy is not hard to build in your relationship, but it calls for some work and some knowledge.

Intimacy does not only mean physical intimacy but more importantly, emotional intimacy. In truth there is no real physical intimacy without deep emotional intimacy and sadly here is where the lack is often experienced.

If you can manage to create and build on emotional intimacy, then you will see the very welcome results in your physical intimacy. If you truly want to experience the highest thrill that results from physical intimacy then focus on your emotional intimacy first and foremost.

The key trick in building emotional intimacy is to open yourself up to your partner in ways that allow actions from him or her to hit emotional spots you never thought you had. It is like going to the gym to work out and find yourself building muscles you never even knew you had.

But before the muscle building can take place and you start seeing that six pack you have to get rid of that belly fat. It is the same with building emotional intimacy – get rid of what is in the way and then hit those emotional muscles over and over again in a careful manner to get them stimulated enough to grow. Pretty soon where you now have emotional flab, will be muscles that twitch when you even do as little as think of your partner.

Want to acquire a high level of emotional intimacy in your romantic relationships. Here are 7 simple but powerful approaches that are bound to add spark and build those emotional muscles.

1. Laugh with and at each other openly. Laugh at yourself in front of your partner. Laughter has an immediate relaxing effect on your body and your emotions are freed up to enjoy whatever the moment holds. And since there is something to laugh at, the moment has to be a pleasurable one which your mind will associate with your partner. Pleasant moments linked to your partner will result in pleasant feelings towards your partner. Very basic principle, but very true and very powerful.

2. Maintain a true and genuine “open office” stance with your partner – that is, you can come in and talk to me anytime about anything. I am here to listen and help. An open-office does not only mean come talk to me about someone or something that has nothing to do with me. It also means come talk to me about me. Before you call my friends to complain, hey come to me because you will get much more of an emotional rush hearing me say I am sorry, plus you never know what else may be in store if I really screwed up.

3. Take and show real interest in each other. That means getting to know the things that matter most to each and learning something about them so you can at least relate. Knowing that your partner would put out the effort to learn about something that you are interested in just so they can talk about it with you, gives a pleasant emotional rush that just lasts.

4. Attempt to find each other really interesting. Note it does not say to find each other interesting. Endeavoring to find each other interesting puts the onus on you to get to be acquainted with your partner in a way that finds something about him or her that just fascinates you in a very interesting way. Whatever that interesting way is, is left up to your imagination given how your mind process stuff. But it should be uniquely interesting to you. This approach forces you to not only take interest in whatever you find, but to take pride in finding it. That which you are proud of is always going to be emotionally satisfying and stimulating for you.

Associating it with your partner creates another emotional intimacy link in your relationship – you know this about him or her because you found it out for yourself. Want to take the concept to another level? Share this with your partner in a manner that says, hey, here is what I found out about you that is so interesting and I bet you never even knew it. Now you have the pleasant emotional connection running both ways, it simply does not get much better than that.

5. Carry out random acts of kindness for each other, especially when it is needed the most and expected the least. The following scenario will demonstrate this completely. You had a hard day at the office. Your wife or girl-friend already knows this. She gets home before you, prepares dinner for you both and is about to now do the dishes, pots and pans. You say to her, “Honey, let me do these, you go take a shower and get some rest.” First, she never expected you to say that given the day you had. Second it is apparent to her that even when you may be feeling a bit jaded yourself, even then you are able to be considerate of her. This creates a feeling of tenderness and caring for her, and of course it is associated with you. More emotional intimacy muscles being built.

6. Always, always be ready to say you are sorry. Does that mean being quick to say you are sorry? No, it just means that if you are prepared to say you are sorry then you remove your own usual tendency to be defensive even when it is obvious that you have aggrieved your partner. Your partner will pick up on the attitude and may even be disarmed by it. Instead of a shouting match that produces nothing but anger and resentment, you may just end up with a hugging that produces moments of heightened respect and appreciation.

7. Take time out to experience new things together. Go to new places; try new dishes; go take in a lecture on an interesting topic. The key here is doing new things together so the feelings that are experienced are done in the context of being together. Togetherness is created and remembered and more emotional intimacy muscles are stimulated and get built.

Emotional intimacy is the glue that will keep your romantic relationship together. The great thing about achieving a high level of emotional intimacy in your relationship is that it also requires complete honesty and complete openness – two other bedrock qualities that can only result in a highly enjoyable relationship.